Dear Future Me,

You have somehow found yourself in a strangely idyllic situation during a pandemic: financially stable with all day to paint. Yet, it’s still a struggle to create what feels like consistent, emotionally engaged work. There’s an elusive sense of not making the “right” or perhaps “perfect” art. Maybe you’ve been kidding yourself about reaching some kind of comfortable, fluid experience.
You still have to clear distractions, roll out your drop paper to keep the carpet clean, choose paints from your cart, get your canvas out, breathe, and start painting. You still have to work through fear, uncertainty, and self-doubt to show up with your head and heart. You still make things you don’t like. You still have to remind yourself not to compare your work to others and give your energy to the process.

So, looks like even in a pandemic, you are still you. You haven’t gained super powers that propel you to become the best version of yourself. But take this as encouragement. When you go back to your day job and have less time to focus on creating, remember that every time you do put paint to paper or canvas or cardboard or whatever supplies you have on hand, you are a freaking bad ass.

In these moments you’re saying “nah” to giving up. You’re deciding that creating is a beautiful and valid journey. One that does not require the product you imagine, but the product you make. When you feel some invisible pressure to produce for the gram take some deep breaths, put on a song, dance, and return to this memory: you kneeling on your rug in your bedroom at 1am pouring out your heart to your God. An audience of one.

With much anticipation to see what you create in the coming days,

Your Past Self

P.S. If it’s safe to do so, go hug ALL of your people. They’re the ones you wished to be near during this time.

Lizzy Cohen
March 2020

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Instagram: @theprayingartist